|Ben on the jetty at Arillas beach|
When we decided to move to Corfu I was envisioning a quiet life of teaching yoga and meditation, of pottering around the garden, of doing lots of music and spending long lazy days on Arillas beach.
I dreamed of a simpler and more relaxing life (...not that my life was terribly frantic before but there is always room for improvement isn't there?!).
Ben dreamed of having more time in his shed playing with his lathe.
Three weeks into life here and the penny has dropped that our dreams are a long way off! Ben's lathe is still in pieces and I'm covered in paint and dust from morning til night, working and working to uncover all the beauty in Mandala for our soon to arrive guests. Ben and I steal glimpses of relaxation everyday in between the DIY marathons and thankfully we almost there with the work now :)
But the uncertainty we face is massive and I am realising that the only real way for me to feel truly secure right now is by accepting everything as it is. By trying to stay in the present moment as much as possible and by learning letting go of all the myriads of things that I don't and can't know about yet.
So I have been thinking a lot about uncertainty: why we look for it, why we find it hard and why it is so very important to sit with it.
Tony Robbins said:
"The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with"
Without being willing to try new things then how can we grow?
And if we aren't growing then what exactly are we doing with our lives?
...Just repeating the same safe actions over and over again- What exactly is the point in that?!
In yogic philosophy we talk about the qualities of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. These are described as the universal energies of Creation, Maintenance and Destruction. Each of us, in everything we do are constantly moving through this cycle. Things are born, they maintain themselves for a time and then the end... only for a new cycle to begin.
The egos job is to keep us alive and so it reasons that if we have done something before and it hasn't harmed us that we should probably do the same thing again, and again, and again.
Think about when you go to your favorite cafe: do you feel drawn to sit in the same seat?
Do you order the same drink?
Or do you head to the same locker at the gym?
Or take the same route around the park?
Have you ever found yourself having the same conversation over and over?
The problem is that human beings are so much more than just an ego. If we face too much repetition we feel stagnant and stale, we start to crave change but we fear the uncertainty of it so we become stuck. We all go through times like these. I can think of hundreds of instances in my life and I would be willing to bet that you have too.
But in the light of this it seems important to shake it up sometimes.
When it feels important, when deep in your heart you know that it is right I believe you have to trust it and be brave enough to break the pattern.
It might be a tiny change, or a huge one, but it seems to me that allowing the end of one choice and the start of a new one can only lead to growth. For even if a change turns out to be a disaster, as long as we survive it we can use this information to teach us. We end up going forward bigger, better and stronger then we were before.
Arguably Ben and I are dealing with too much Shiva energy right now! I could do with a little more maintenance in my life and I look forward to knowing that these cycles keep going round and so even if things look pretty chaotic right now (and they really do!) that some kind of stability will be born out of it at some point ...I really hope so anyway!!
On the flip side there has been lots of Brahma energy. The creation of new friendships, the creation of a new home, the creation of a new business.
A whole beautiful environment is opening up for us that we could never have accessed without being brave enough (or stupid enough!) to let go of what we knew.
|Hanging with my animal friends :)|
I most certainly did not expect this opportunity to arise when I woke up!
So this is the upshot of uncertainty :) Unexpected good things happen. I find that the more I plod on and trust that things are all working out that the more amazing things are happening here.
I would like to encourage you to have a think about uncertainty.
Is there any nagging change that you haven't quite had the courage to face? Or are you facing uncertainty right now and struggling to find your balance within it?
|The zen master herself in deep meditation!|
In tricky moments I look at Sosage :) She is never worried, she lies in the sunshine, she snoozes on the bed, she plays with the village dogs. She is never anxious about where her next meal will come from or ruminating about what toys she left behind on the boat. She operates with a level of optimism and trust that I can only aspire towards. Sosage reminds me that it is always an option to trust. That we have the power to keep moving forward no matter what unexpected tricks and treats life throws at us and that if we stay in the present moment we always have the option to make our decision turn out OK ...and you never know they might just turn out to be spectacular!
I'm finding most of the time that wonderful things are lining up and happening for us here and that most of my worries never come true... or are not really that bad when they do hit.
It has occurred to me that I can choose to be somebody who worries or somebody who is grateful and that it is impossible to be doing both in the same moment!
So with gratitude I fling myself into another day of terrifying/ beautiful uncertainty here on Corfu!